~Saturday, July 28, 2001~04:00 p.m.~

You know, this picture thing on the club site is really cool. In all seriousness, I really understand a bit more about the fan thing and I am happy to be a part of other peoples' good times on the road, etc.
---From The Rig (relayed by Katie)

~Tuesday, July 24, 2001~06:50 p.m.~

Gone to Argentina - be back Friday. If you happen to get the Rockdale Citizen, I'll be in there tomorrow (Wednesday). www.rockdalecitizen.com Pick me up a copy would ya? Anywho, see y'all later!

~Tuesday, July 24, 2001~01:23 a.m.~

Did you know that "Oprah believes in using her life as a puppet for Satan's ruthless assault on mankind, and is subsequently leading people into the fires of hell empowered by demonic forces." and "Oprah sought after demonic possession in order to elicit a superior acting performance whereby she might gain a greater influence over her viewers. " Well this is good to know!

~Monday, July 16, 2001~08:52 p.m.~
Drunk Rachel!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL!!!!!! You silly 21 year old.

~Sunday, July 15, 2001~03:14 p.m.~
Back from Belize
Well, I'm back from Belize. Woohoo. Go me. I just realized that I have been on 4 continents in one month - From June 5th to July 5th. Kenya, Netherlands, USA, and Argentina. OK, I'll put a lil' summary of the trip up here for ya.

Day One - Arrived in San Pedro town on Ambergris Caye on a Cessna plane (aka island hopper). We saw our hotel and weren't too pleased, but thought it would do. We went and made tour appointments and walked around San Pedro.
Day Two - Went snorkeling in the morning on a glass bottom boat. We went to Shark Ray Alley and touched HUGE rays and nurse sharks. Very cool. Also saw an octopus and other pretty fish. In the afternoon we went parasailing which was somewhat disappointing and way too damn expensive.
Day Three - Went on a catamaran back to Hol Chan Marine Reserve and Shark Ray Alley...saw a Moray Eel, played with rays more, saw more sharks...My mom chased after a 4-foot barracuda not knowing what it was - silly mom. We went to Caye Caulker, a tiny island close to Ambergris Caye. It was really really hot, but the restaurant we ate in was delicious. Very relaxing day on the catamaran. In the morning we got to pet and play with a baby racoon that a guy was walking (on a leash) down the beach. What a cutey!
Day Four - Went on a high speed boat to snorkel at the Blue Hole (a sunken volcano). We went three hours over 6 foot swells (VERY BUMPY AND ROUGH). It was BEAUTIFUL when we got there. SO SO SO SO SO SO GORGEOUS. I can't even describe it. We snorkeled the Blue Hole, saw some barracudas. We got back in the boat, and they fed chum to some blacktipped sharks. Ferocious! Amazing! Then they dropped my mom and I off at Half Moon Caye on a deserted beach. Even more gorgeous. Turquoise waters, white sand beach. We snorkeled awhile, then sat under a palm tree and listened to the birds and the waves. Then we went snorkeling in semi-open ocean, though it was calm. We could see down 50 feet. I swam down to be in the middle of some school of fish. Nice. I got sunburned badly though. Then we went home. A 12 hour trip in all. Gorgeous though.
Day Five - We ate a breakfast by the beach, then took a plane back to Belize City, then another plane to Miami, then yet another plane to Atlanta. Whew!

~Monday, July 9, 2001~05:42 p.m.~
Out of the country again? Is this healthy?
Well, it appears that I'm going to Belize tomorrow. So...I don't know when I will be back. Hope ya have a nice week. I should be back by the 15th.

~Sunday, July 8, 2001~01:18 a.m.~
The Soundtrack of My Life
Well, in the Sister Hazel spirit of it all, I've decided to rely on them to tell my feelings. Do with these what you may. All of them have meaning to my life at this point. Now who am I talking about with each of these? Mwahahaha...That I shall maybe tell one day.

I had to drive away,
Far away 'til you could not find me
And It was a beautiful day
Liberated and you're far behind me
What you did I'll never mention
Where you were, I don't want to know
---Sister Hazel - Thank You

With my head above the water
I could drift along, beyond the tides
But I can try a little harder
If you help me to reach the other side.
---SH - Surreal

Well I'm frozen here
Caged in silence
It's better that I
Regret these words
Than to stand aside
And watch your tragic
Storyline unfold...
---SH - Elvis

Well I'm buried in my bedroom
Under fourteen feet of clothes
I could drown in all this clutter I suppose
---SH - Beautiful Thing

It's your world
And I was just someone in it
I never wanted to be your problem
And it's your life
And I just wanted to see you live it
Be the one to help you solve 'em
---SH - Wanted It To Be

Used to run and try to hide,
Today I'll stay and pick a side
And if I die well least I tried,
Yer standin' in my way...
---SH - Used to Run

Just hear me out for what it's worth
You still rip my breath away
I've come around
I know you've heard it before
And again and again...
---SH - Shame On Me

If it's to be
That there's just no one for me
I'll try not to cry much
So no one will see
But if it's to be
That there is anyone for me
Our hearts will shine
So everyone will see
---SH - Out There

There ya go. Hope I didn't bore you too much.

~Saturday, July 7, 2001~11:31 p.m.~

I saw Robby and Laurie together today. It reminded me of how evil people can be. I still can't believe she kept choosing guys over me. Am I really that worthless? Why do girls give up their best friends for guys? Especially guys that aren't worth it. It's happened to me a lot...but maybe it's not so unusual. I just don't understand it. I don't know if I'll do that to one of my best friends some day, but I hope that I'm better and stronger than that. I would never want to hurt somebody, and if it made my life worse to not hurt them, I would still do it. How can love be good if somebody gets hurt in the process? It is tainted love. It is like...I dunno...love-scum. Woohoo new phrase.
So apparently my mother is ashamed of me. I found an email of hers last night to her flight attendant friend, the one we flew with to Argentina the other day. Here's what it said.

Just FYI, my April has put on a "few pounds" in the last couple of years. She is a really really big girl now and believe me, the subject has been addressed. I have to accept her as she is and love her...

So...that will suck. I was extremely depressed for about...2 hours...well, one of my friends helped me out a bunch. Then I woke up this morning, and could not move, so I guess I was not really over the depressed part yet. I managed to get out of bed at 3pm...Not too shabby. Only took me 4 and a half hours to manage it. Well, I'm doing better now. I've lived with this sort of thing for awhile. I should be used to it! Just gotta keep up the spirits, don't let it bother me. Heck, it ain't the first time I've been called fat or big, and it certainly won't be the last. So I need to get used to it and not let it bother me so much. My mom would be happier if I were anorexic, I think. She was sooooo happy when I first started working at Don Pablo's. Since I never had any time to eat dinner or lunch usually, I lost about 20 pounds, and 4 clothing sizes in about a month...She was sooo proud. She took me shopping for new clothes and everything. Ugh ugh ugh. Anywho, enough self-pity for the night, eh? Hasta later!

~Tuesday, July 3, 2001~05:20 p.m.~
Correction...
Make that Friday. I'll be home Friday. :-) It's two days and one night in Argentina...So...yeah...

~Tuesday, July 3, 2001~02:07 p.m.~
Off to S. America - will you miss me?
Well, anyways, I'm off to Argentina tonight. Yippee. Hurray hurrah. I'll get to see a Tango dance, and maybe Eva Peron's tomb if I can convince my mom. Other than that...I'm not really sure what there is to do in Buenos Aires. I'm more excited about the Belize trip (to Ambergris Caye) next week. Snorkeling!!! With sharks and rays. I can't wait! Yeehaw. I will have been on four continents in...3 months. Somethin like that. Well, I sorta did the same thing last year - went to S. Africa, then to Italy/France/Germany, and then Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands. Talk about your travel summer. Not sure which summer is better - Kenya was just...unbelievable...so I don't think even the Galapagos Islands can hold a candle to it.

Anywho...I shall be back on Thursday, in case anybody was wondering. I'm really hoping that today Farhan will call Liz because for some reason it is a really big deal to her that he calls her back. So if he doesn't I shall drive up to Marietta and glue the phone to his ear so that he will call her, and they will go on a date and be happy. Yay...And Daniel, you're just crazy, man...You and Russians...Don't worry, I shall say no more than that. But I do have some more questions to ask of you. And Jennifer, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I have not talked to you in sooooo long...I'm an evil friend and penpal. But eventually I will talk to you! :-) Hehe. And to all my Conyers homies - where the hell you at?? Call me dammit. I'm goin nuts here...Anywho that's all I can think of to say. See? I have lots of drama in my life. More that I can't even say! Wow! I should have a tv show made after me, really. I mean, who else but me would knock over a cup of water in the Sixthman offices (the offices of Sister Hazel, Dexter Freebish, and Marathon)? Hehehehe...Anywho...
P.S. - Have you ever tried to eat the wrapper of a Cinn-A-Burst gum? It's possible!! I swear!

~Monday, July 2, 2001~07:46 p.m.~
People change?
I can't decide whether people change...or whether people just move closer to what they always have been...that their personality is just waiting to bloom, and they grow towards that ultimate personality. I'd like to think people change, and that they are not wholly bad to begin with. But I do believe in Karma, that's probably the wrong word for it though...and that if you screw somebody over, it will come back at you tenfold. It's happened before, and it will happen again. You screw over a friend, and it will haunt you until your dying days. Misery to those who wrong another!!!

~Saturday, June 30, 2001~06:55 p.m.~
Me me me teeheeeheee
The only thing worse than your friend being depressed and something bothering her, is that she won't tell you what's wrong. And the only thing worse than that is having another friend know what is wrong, but you still don't get to know. It's a selfish thing to be concerned about, I know, but I am curious by nature, and when other people know things that I don't I get a bit obsessed. Maybe I should be a reporter or something. Ah well.

Yesterday was a lot of fun. We went and helped out at "On the Bricks." Megan and I went around getting emails for Joydrop's mailing list. First we got to go to the Sixthman offices in Atlanta, where Sister Hazel and Marathon's offices are. It was awesome! But I spilled a glass of water all over a desk, so I felt really stupid. Plus, I was on an epinephrine 'high', so I said stupid things. I've been saying a lot of stupid things lately. Maybe I should take a vow of silence, then maybe I'd be thought of as "mysterious" or somethin. Teehee. So...that was fun. Then Megan and I went to a Marathon concert (also Virginia Coalition and Pat Mcgee). Virginia Coalition was really really good!! Lots of energy, and fun songs. We met all the band members, Tim's (the bassists) girlfriend, and lots more. It was fun. We learned insider information. Teehee. Well, that's all I'm tellin ya. Anywho, later.

~Monday, June 25, 2001~02:34 p.m.~
Girl, you're all talk and alcohol
I can't wait to get back to school! Although it is nice to lie around all day, I miss Athens and everything that goes with it - friends, concerts, Starbucks...I'm excited about the Marathon concert on Friday. Yay!

I hope Rachel was watching Kids in the Hall today! The episode was so great! It had the Bad Doctor scene (at last!!) and the "Daves I Know" song. How awesome is that? I shoulda taped it...but didn't have time and did not know how to work the VCR.

Yesterday I went to Athfest with Megan, Tracey, and Leah. We saw Josh Joplin, and afterwards met him, and Tracey got a setlist and he told her she needed water. Sweet guy! Ever notice that band people just exude this power and this self-composure...Something like that. I dunno if it's just that adoring fans make them unself-conscious or what.

It seems like everybody is getting a guy these days. Miranda had two dates, Julia (Tracey's friend) met some guy and fell in love, Lorie (a high school friend) met a guy at a club and they are in love, and Rossana has a guy too! Yeesh!

I need to walk today, but I have not gotten up the energy to actually go do it. It could be because I have not eaten today. I keep forgetting to eat. It's weird. Anywho, I'd probably better scrounge up something. Cya!

~Sunday, June 17, 2001~06:27 p.m.~
Boredom
Howdy there. Just wanted to let all of ya know that I have my Africa pictures up on my webpage now. www.geocities.com/aprilcareen/april.html - yay. Nuttin else much is happening. My mom and I cooked 2 pies today - chocolate and butterscotch. Yummy! Happy Father's Day to everybody and stuff. That's all I can think of to say right now. Hehe.

~Saturday, June 16, 2001~06:36 p.m.~
It's a Beautiful Thing?
Sometimes I want to be beautiful just so when the guys that ignored me like I am suddenly take interest in me (being beautiful), I can say "Screw you." That's really the only reason I want to change my looks. Just to say "screw you." Heheh. :-) I dreamt that I lost 50 lbs a couple nights ago, so now I'm in health-mode. Actually, I'm in "control the hunger" mode...I'm trying not to eat a lot. It's hard sometimes cuz I'm hungry a lot. But I can fight it! Go me! Woohoo!

We went to a Sister Hazel/Marathon concert last night. We, meaning me, Megan, Rachel, and Tracey. It was GREAT! We roadtripped to Tuscaloosa, Alabama. 5 hours for them, 4 for me. Still great fun. We got there late because we had to stop and eat, and we got caught in a rainstorm. So we missed some of Marathon's set. It was an all ages show, so there were lots of 13 and 14 year olds with braces and spaghetti straps. Bleh. Annoying brats! :-D The concert itself was pretty good, except for the fact that the guy in front of me kept letting pretty girls in front of him. I guess he thought he could get some action that way. Megan kinda bitched one of them out. Kudos to her! Wish I could do that. I just glare and hope that is enough. But it usually is not. Still, they kept tossing their 'perfect' hair in my face. I hope their mascara ran down into their eyes and blinded them. Teeheehee. We waited after the show for the guys to come out but we only saw Drew and Mark. Now that they are not cool...but...I wanted to talk to Jeff and Ryan! We did get to talk to Chuck though, and he waited until I got my CD thing from Megan's car to sign. How sweet! On the way to the car, we saw guys peeing in a field. EEW. They were quite drunk. And then we got lost in the parking lot. But we finally got over to where Chuck was, and he signed it. He's a cutey and a sweety. Double plus! I need to talk to the rest of the Marathon band someday. Anyway, gotta go!

~Saturday, June 9, 2001~03:51 p.m.~
I'm Home!
Hey peoples! I'm home from my month long trek to Kenya. It was simply amazing. My mind is still somewhat there. I keep wanting to slip in Swahili words into my sentences. "Asante" and "pole" and "habari gani" just keep finding their way into my vocabulary. Sillies.

I don't have my pictures back yet, because my parents want this guy named Kevin to do it, because apparently he is the only guy in Conyers that developes decently, and right now he has kidney stones...So we're waiting for him to get better. How exasperating!! I want my pictures!!! But...when I get my pictures back, I will be sure to show them to everybody, and also to scan them. I took almost an entire roll of just monkeys. And another of the rhinos. And another of elephants. So...be prepared...Mwahahahahahaha. ;) I miss the guys I met there. Teehee. Anywho, in a couple days we're going to Jessica, and I am wanting to tell Jessica, so if you read this, and your name is Jessica, I'm going to Maine tomorrow (Sunday) or Monday. We're going to Bangor too - well, Bar Harbor really. So...yeah...Neat or something. My parents want to see some whales. And I'm all about that. And I want some clam chowder and lobster. So off we go.

~Wednesday, May 9, 2001~01:21 p.m.~

Well, I'm off to Amsterdam in an hour...then on Monday I'm flying from there to Nairobi, Kenya. I can't believe the time has finally come to get to go there. This will be soooo awesome. :-) I'm trying not to think of it all too much because I won't be able to sit still for the next 10 hours or so if I do. I don't now how I'm gonna do without my computer for an entire month...Hopefully I can find a computer sometime and check my email. :-) Don't miss me too much. Teehee. I definitely won't be updating this page until I get back, cuz I just won't have time or the access to a computer. So...you can talk about me on my message board if you'd like. ;) Hehe. Anywho, don't miss me too much. Mwahaha...

~Monday, May 7, 2001~05:17 a.m.~

And you thought I was up early yesterday...Phsaw...Try 5am!!!! I could make this a habit...um...no...2 and a half hours till my biology final! EEK!

OK, so, topic of discussion. What if this were 1910? No voting rights, women stayed in the house, didn't get jobs. Where would you be? I'm thinking if we didn't have a husband and 2 kids by this age, we would be considered spinsters. What do you think? Post on my message board. Where would you be? What would you be doing?

~Sunday, May 6, 2001~06:52 a.m.~

Look at the time of this entry!!! Isn't that amazing? Were you aware that the sun is not truly up at this time? It's still like night time! I went to bed at 8pm last night, and now I'm up and fairly awake. Yay. I'm drinkin some coffee, about to go jump in the shower...I've got so much studying to do today it's not even funny. So I decided to get a head start and wake up at 630am. Anywho, just thought y'all would be ever so proud of me. 8 Days till Kenya!!!!!!!!!

~Wednesday, May 2, 2001~12:56 a.m.~
What I am and what I am not
I decided to make a list of stuff that I am and am not. So here goes:

What I am Not
- A Singer
- An Actress
- A Dancer
- A Poet
- A Scholar
- Thin
- Patient
- A good conversationalist
- A good speech maker
- Good at math
- Gorgeous

What I Am
- An animal lover (no, not that way, dumbass)
- Single
- Liberal
- Fun-loving
- Bubbly
- A Knowledge-seeking
- A Student
- A Redhead
- A lefty
- Clumsy
- Moody
- A Movie Lover
- A Music Lover
- A Reader
- A Dreamer

Well, that's about as realistic as I can get about myself. Just had to put it all down. :-) May add later. Yeah yeah, so I'm into lists these days!

~Monday, April 30, 2001~09:25 p.m.~
I'm gonna die
So there's a good chance I could die or be seriously injured and made ill in the next month. Don't believe me? I shall now put in the possible ways of dying that I will be exposed to within the next month. Some are humorous, others not quite so.
1.) Hit by a tram or a bicycle in Amsterdam
2.) Getting killed by a pimp for taking a picture in the Red Light District in Amsterdam
3.) Plane crash on the way to Amsterdam
4.) Plane crash on the way to Nairobi
5.) African trypanosomiasis (sleeping sickness) has been reported being contracted by tourists visiting game parks recently
6.) There is an epidemic of Meningococcal Disease in Ethiopa, which is right next to Kenya
7.) Malaria
8.) Yellow Fever
9.) Typhoid Fever
10.) Dengue Fever
11.) Filariasis
12.) Leishmaniasis
13.) Onchocerciasis
14.) Rift Valley fever
15.) Schistosomiasis
16.) Rabies
17.) Plague
18.) Bitten by a Puff Adder
19.) Bitten by a Cobra
20.) Squeezed to death by a python
21.) Trampled by an Elephant
22.) Eaten by a lion
23.) Ganged up on by Colobus Monkeys
24.) Tumble down the escarpment, breaking my neck
25.) Bus accident

Yup, so as you can see, I'm a goner. Everybody is invited to my funeral though. Go to my message board to vote.

~Sunday, April 29, 2001~01:59 p.m.~

I think it's childish that some people don't take responsibility for their actions and then have the nerve to complain about it to us when they have a 10 page paper due and instead of writing it they choose to go to concerts. Don't you?

~Friday, April 27, 2001~05:20 p.m.~

I can't believe I'm going to Kenya!!!! This is nuts! Insane! And did I mention CRAZY?? I think it just hit me...Well, not completely hit me...but...when it does I think I'll surely faint dead away. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. OK, gotta go...WOW...

~Wednesday, April 25, 2001~01:37 p.m.~

I made $45.50 from selling back books today. Not too shabby, considering none of them were my expensive science books. Yay! One book sold for $25 - I was pleasantly surprised. I never make that much money off of books. Maybe I'm doing it all wrong. Hmm...Ah well. My throat is hurting a bit. I think I may be getting sick, which is not feasible or acceptable. GO AWAY GERMS! NOW! So much to do...so little time. I must say my anxiety about Kenya is increasing by the day. Ugh ugh ugh. ANywho. Gotta go...stare at the cieling and not think about upcoming finals! Yeah!

~Monday, April 23, 2001~10:00 p.m.~

Yuck, I have so much to do, and I don't know where to get started. Furthermore, I don't want to get started. I just want to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling for about 10 hours or so. Then sleep for 12 hours. Then watch some movies. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so! Hmph! I gotta finish a book, read 6 more chapters in biology (long chapters!), write a paper, start preparing for Kenya, figure out what I'm going to be doing in Kenya, and start packing to move outta the dorm. Ugh ugh ugh. Why won't the directors of the trip write me back? I'm so lost on what to do on this trip!!!!!! Argh.

~Monday, April 23, 2001~02:30 a.m.~
Beautiful
I once was beautiful

Now just dull

Distractingly bubbly

Let down all the same

Critical, Calculating, Joyous, Joyless

Needing daily reassurance

Finding none, seeking elsewhere

Loving, Loathing, Skipping, Falling

Globular, shapeless mass of flesh

Devoid and fulfilled all at once

The irony and contradictions laughable

Clinging, Silent, Bitter, Smiling still

When did it leave? I never felt it go. I must have lost it along the way. That piece of me. The beautiful, pathetic piece of me.